


Don't go wasting your emotions

by uxiumin



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Heartbreak, Loss of Emotions, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, junmyeon is a whole mother, kinda angsty, mother knows best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 03:13:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20771591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uxiumin/pseuds/uxiumin
Summary: What would you do If emotions could go to waste?Sehun has run out of love, his only way out of the botomless void he is trapped in is finding his soulmate.





	Don't go wasting your emotions

**Author's Note:**

> to AnnieAstreneel:
> 
> Happy birthday, lovely. I'm forever grateful to have found you in this life. This might not be the perfect present, but at least It will let you know that I really love you. ♥

Like any other Sunday, Sehun was lying absentmindedly on his bed. Not paying attention to anything in particular, not really caring about how time dripped down through his hands like water, impossible to catch or contain. Afternoon sunlight entered his room across the window, leaving his warm touch everywhere in his room, but like a fake smile, it didn’t reach his heart. Sehun grabbed his phone from the nightstand, no calls, no messages, no background picture. He stared at the same series of numbers without name contact. It has been a long year since that phone number had a name attached, Baekhyun even deleted it, but he remembers it by heart. The only thing breaking the silence on his apartment was the footsteps of his flatmate, crossing the hallway to knock on Sehun’s bedroom door.

“Hunnie” - Junmyeon asked with a mellow voice from the other side.“Are you awake?” Sehun only answered with a loud hum, followed by Junmyeon opening his door slightly. “You should get dressed if you want to come…”

“Where?” - Sehun asked back.

Junmyeon sighed deeply. “We talked about this on Friday, to Chanyeol’s to meet…”

“I remember” - Sehun cut down Junmyeon.“I’ve never said that I wanted to go.”

“Sehun” - Junmyeon’s voice turned stern.“You can’t waste your life like this.”

“Have fun, Myeon.” - Sehun answered, ignoring Junmyeon’s advice while shifting his position on the bed so Junmyeon could only see his back.

Junmyeon sighed again, slowly closing Sehun’s door. “Text me if you need anything.”

He heard no response from the other side of Sehun’s door.

Sehun’s behavior is no fresh news. Even though the powerlessness hurts Junmyeon, he had been like that for a year now since some bastard decided that breaking up with him in a healthy and adult way wasn’t worth it. It was a way better idea to leave, without notice or trace, and never contact Sehun again. The bastard changed his phone, email, vanishing as he had never been there from the start. Junmyeon can still feel the bitterness inside his tongue. Every time he thinks about the moment they realized that the left behind him a loveless Sehun.

Sehun knows that Junmyeon is the brother his parents never gifted him on Christmas, and he loves him deeply. He would give a leg for him. Or at least he remembers loving him that deeply when he had a functioning heart instead of the void he now carries. Emotions and feelings are tricky, and they must be used with caution. That’s what they teach you almost from birth. Hate, love, fear, compassion… from the most simple to the most complex ones. Once you’ve run out of them, you can’t create more again, you became emotionless, like you were a puzzle missing a piece right at the center of the picture. The only way to replenish your emotions, to feel again, is finding your soulmate and feed on each other’s trust and love endlessly. That’s why mostly no one dates anymore unless it’s their soulmate. Love is one of the most complex emotions, and it’s easy to run out of it, but if you date your soulmate you’ll never see the end of the bottle.

How do you know that someone is your soulmate? There is no way to know. If you are emotionless, you will start feeling those things you’ve been missing once again, but if you aren’t...well, you’ll have to try.

Sehun knows that He wasn’t his soulmate. But he fell in love so quickly and deeply that they used to joke about it often. Who needed a soulmate when they had each other? They complemented each other so well, even couples made of soulmates envied how good they looked together, hand in hand, always smiling, love never seemed to come to an end. But he left, and the world stopped glowing to turn gray and dull. His bed is empty, as much as his heart. Sehun isn’t even able to pronounce his name without feeling the void inside of him growing stronger.

He looked at his phone again, screen gleaming with texts from his friends. Still looking at the numbers that used to be his phone, Sehun sighed. There was no use at calling, he had tried, the number does no longer exist.

Having the apartment for himself is one of Sehun’s favorite things. This way he doesn’t have to limit his self-pity to his bedroom only. He can be sad and glum in the living room or the kitchen without hearing Junmyeon’s soft complaints about his actual state. Sehun is really grateful for having Junmyeon on his life — without him, he would be way worse. So much that one good day, some time ago, he even joked about becoming emotionless in gratitude too.

Junmyeon didn’t like the joke at all.

Sehun spent the rest of his Sunday watching TV, munching on some snacks — Junmyeon will complain later about eating only garbage instead of fruit — and doing nothing at all until he heard Junmyeon coming back.

“Oh, hi” - Junmyeon greeted when he saw the taller on the couch.“You came out of your cave.” Sehun only rolled his eyes. “The guys missed you.”

“I know, I saw Baekhyun texts” - Sehun said.

“Did you answered?”

“No.”

Junmyeon looked at him with a mix of feelings in his eyes that Sehun didn’t like at all. He could see some pity, some desperation, and, of course, love. One thing about becoming emotionless is that you turn into an actual expert on recognizing that feeling you’ve lost on others' eyes and behavior. And love is so easy to see that sometimes hurts.

They had dinner together, watched a show and left to bed. Like any other day, Junmyeon looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t.

Like any other day.

* * *

“Sorry I didn’t show up yesterday.” - Sehun apologized as soon as he encountered Chanyeol and Baekhyun next day at college. Not that Junmyeon had insisted on him apologizing.

“Don’t apologize if you are not sorry, dumbass.” - Chanyeol grabbed Sehun’s head and messed his carefully styled brown hair. They struggled a little before his redhaired friend let him free.

“Anyway” - Sehun spoke again once he was free again.“How was yesterday?”

“It was fun, you can meet him later at lunch, he had to hand over some papers at the Main Office” - Baekhyun explained.

“Who?” - Sehun asked, furrowing his perfect eyebrows.

“Oh my god” - Junmyeon said.“Do you ever listen to what we say?”

“Sometimes”

“My friend, Jongin.” - Chanyeol said. “He transferred to our college.”

Sehun nodded, he remembers having a conversation about him, and Chanyeol being super excited about it, but nothing else...besides...

“You said he was a dancer, right?” - Sehun asked with a naïve expression.

“That’s my boy!” - Chanyeol hugged Sehun again, making the second complaint louder. But he loves Chanyeol’s hugs and affectionate ways. Or at least he remembers loving them.

At first, coming to college, was a huge deal for Sehun. Everyone spoke about him, about his relationship, like they knew, like they understood what his heart was going through like they were feeling the savage transformation of his heart. Don’t get him wrong, some of his classmates were — are — actually worried, those weren’t the problem. Kindness is always welcomed.

The problem was the gossip, the constant; “I knew this was going to happen”, “This was bound to happen”. “It couldn’t have ended any other way.” Those only made the void grew stronger and darker. He remembers Chanyeol wanting to punch someone one day for a comment like that. Junmyeon and Baekhyun had to stop the giant with all of his might.

Right now, college gives Sehun a distraction. He does his homework, he participates in his classes, he studies and works hard. This way he doesn’t feel so hopeless, so useless all the time.

It was like any other Monday. Three hours of classes later, they were already sitting at the cafeteria, at their usual spot by the window. Baekhyun was explaining some nonsense to Junmyeon about a movie when Chanyeol arrived accompanied by Jongin, their new addition to the group.

Sehun wasn’t paying much attention to the new arrival, and he knew that Junmyeon expected him to be, at least, polite and don’t scare the guy. He really didn’t want to stare at him. It wasn’t about his brown disheveled hair or the shy smile on his pouty lips. Jongin was glowing, not like the blazing sun outside, but like every other star in the middle of a dark winter night.

Sehun was cold, frozen, just looking at him he knew that he was warm. It’s easy to tell if something is warm when your hands shiver all the time.

“That creepy tall dude staring at you is Sehun” - Chanyeol introduced him.

“A creepy tall dude is a phrase usually referred to you” - Sehun snapped back, waving at Jongin. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Jongin” - he introduced himself with a big smile.“Nice to meet you, at last, these three talk a lot about you.”

“Only the bad things, I’m sure.”

Jongin sat between him and Chanyeol, carelessly talking about his first day. His friends made a ton of questions: if he liked the campus, how were the teachers if he missed his family or his home. He looked nice, easy-going, the way he talked, sincere and unabashedly, made Sehun understand why Chanyeol was so excited to introduce him to the group. Jongin had a loud laugh that echoed across the cafeteria, much to Baekhyun’s delight, now he wasn’t the only one.

The day kept going. Sehun soon realized that Jongin seemed to fit really well among his friends. It looks like there had always been a spot there, invisible, waiting for the warm guy to fill it. It was a refreshing feeling. Hearing a new voice, excited to be there, pleased to have a place between them, wrapping everything up just a little tighter.

This wasn’t like any other Monday, this had been a nice Monday.

Just as Sehun had predicted a month ago, Jongin did really seem to fit between them.

When he finally opened up to them completely, he demonstrated to be indeed a warm guy. And even more touchy and affectionate than Baekhyun and Chanyeol together. It wasn’t weird for him to back hug the others, to place his head over Sehun’s shoulders when they were studying, to playfully tickle and punch Chanyeol, to caress Baekhyun’s hair or to loudly pout at Junmyeon when he wanted something, like a kid asking his mother to buy him cookies.

Sehun found himself relying on Jongin way sooner than he had expected. Jongin proved to be a great listener and an even greater caregiver. Sehun wondered who told him about his… situation. Probably Junmyeon.

Jongin handed him a beer can while Sehun was just musing by himself on the balcony. The other three kept loudly playing Mario Kart on the sofa.

“You alright?” - Jongin asked. Sehun simply nodded and took the cold can. “I usually leave you alone when you are like this…”

“But?” - Sehun asked.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you something.” - he sighed a little embarrassed. “I’m the new guy, and I really want to catch up with your life, be on the same page…”

“Just ask.”

“Why you never talk about it?” - Jongin finally asked. “Wouldn’t it be easier, for you? For them…” - he said looking at the other three inside.“They really..."·

“Love me?” - Sehun gave the beer a short sip. “I know. You became really good at telling when someone does when you can’t feel anything.”

“Is that hard?” - Jongin looked at Sehun’s hurt eyes. “I’m genuinely asking.”

“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever felt” - Sehun sighed. “And it’s ironic because I feel nothing at all.”

Jongin looked at his own beer, probably trying to figure out how not feeling anything would feel. “You can’t talk about it because you don’t understand it yourself” - he finally said.

“Every ‘I love you’ I’ve said to him is like a dagger. Nailed really deep in my flesh.” - Sehun kept saying. “But it’s my fault, I was careless, I wasted my emotions.”- Sehun sighed, leaning his back on the balcony handrail, giving the beer another long sip. Probably that was the worst part about his current situation. Being loveless, having this endless void inside was bad, but the guilt, knowing that he should’ve known better, he should’ve taken precautions. And he didn’t.

“Don’t say that.” - Jongin talked back, with a serious expression Sehun had never seen before on the usual cheer guy. “It’s not your fault. If you ask me, this was a robbery of emotions.”

Sehun choked on his beer. “A robbery?” - Sehun chuckled lightly. It has been a while since the last time he laughed. Jongin caught him off guard.

“He is out here, right? Out here living plenty of life with the emotions he had stolen from you.”- Jongin kept saying.“So it was a robbery.”

“I never thought it like that” - Sehun sipped again with a sad smile on his face.“A robbery: should I report it?”

Jongin chuckled, making his eyes wrinkle. “You are pretty funny when you aren’t sad or gloomy.”

“So I’m not funny.”

Jongin chuckled again. “Shut up.” - Jongin looked at Sehun once again. His brown eyes seemed to shine with the feeble light that came from his and Junmyeon’s living room. “You can’t report it, but maybe you can try to start feeling again.”

“Are you going to tell me that I should look for my real soulmate and all that crap?” - Sehun asked with one of his perfect eyebrows arched.

“No” - Jongin denied with his head.“But I’ve talked to Junmyeon. He thinks that you are becoming numb in more aspects than just the love you lost.”

Sehun huffed, gulping the last sip from his can. “he might be right.”

“Then change it.” - Jongin looked awfully serious, he even approached Sehun, not menacing but wanting to give emphasis to his words. They had never been this close before. “Inside there you have three concerned friends that love you endlessly. And you know how you feel about them even if you can’t perceive it right now.”

Sehun speechlessly looked at Jongin. Did they really meet each other only a month ago?

Sehun’s eyes looked at Baekhyun, shouting at Chanyeol while Junmyeon was the only one with a controller in hand trying to seriously play. How long has it been since he felt part of them, an active part of them? Was he leaving himself behind?

“I...I know you are right” - Sehun whispered. “But it’s so hard, I can’t even cry about it. I can’t live with this inside, it’s killing me Jongin.”

Jongin touched Sehun’s cheek. Indeed warm. “You should learn to survive first” - his gentle eyes encouraged him. “Your eyes are red.”

Sehun could feel the tears tickling his eyes from the inside. He took a step back from Jongin, drying his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Sehun entered the living room like a raging wind. Even if he had tried to dry his tears his eyes were still red and a little puffy. He placed himself in front of the TV, Chanyeol complained, but he soon stopped.

“Hunnie?” - Junmyeon asked, dropping the controller, already getting up.

“I don’t know what’s going on inside of me.” - Sehun said. “I haven’t talked about it because I don’t know what to say, how to explain that I’m missing a piece of me that I wish I didn’t need. I wish I didn’t need love to survive, but I need it and its absence is killing me. I can’t tell any of you how much it hurts. I can’t tell how much I love you, guys. Because I don’t feel it anymore. But I remember doing it, I won’t ever forget it. Even if my heart it’s not in his place anymore, even if he has… stole that from me. I won’t ever forget that I used to love you with all my heart until I have my emotions back.”

The other three stared at Sehun while he sobbed his words outs. Maybe Sehun doesn’t have love anymore, but he had spoken on its behalf. On his heart’s behalf. Baekhyun dropped the controller and hugged Sehun with all of his might, crying as much as Sehun did, followed by Junmyeon and Chanyeol, that sheltered him in the warmest hug he remembers.

Sehun knows that if he had met Jongin a year ago he would have loved him as much as he loves the others. That’s why he called for him in the middle of the hug, searching for the other’s hand, for his warmth. And Jongin complied.

Maybe the world is still gray and cold outside but inside that little and crowded living room like it’s in full color.

* * *

For Sehun it’s easy to see love glowing on others, it has all kinds of shapes and forms. Sometimes he sees the love in a shy girl looking at his crush, delicate and warm. Other times he sees love on children with their parents, so pure and spotless. But the type he likes the more is the love he sees on his friends, supportive, immense, unconditional.

He is learning to survive, just as Jongin said. And Jongin has a lot to do with his improvement. It’s not only about the feelings Sehun knows he has but is unable to perceive now, it’s about how he behaves, how he expresses them to the others. After the cheesy group hug they shared weeks ago Sehun realized the change he needed. Sehun started sounding and looking a lot more like his usual self since then. He smiled more, he wanted to go out, he longed for his friend's words and touch.

At first, it was hard. Because it’s easy to get attached to the struggle, it’s easy to feel comfortable in the numbness. It doesn’t take any effort watching the stars from the bottom of the well idly.

But once you feel the warmth of a star when you are freezing, it’s impossible to remain unbothered.

He threw away everything he owned that reminded of him, every gift, photo, object… he even changed his phone. Maybe that last one was unnecessary, but he did it anyway.

He found himself with an almost empty room a week later, but at least there was no more Him.

For every photo he threw away, he placed another one, family photos, photos with his friends. Of course, he put on a nice spot over his corkboard that photo of Junmyeon absolutely drunk, dancing on a table. For every piece of clothing that he had left behind, Sehun felt less pressure inside his chest. For every gift, he gave away or dumped he felt a little freer.

Once he had finished, he looked at himself. He had been looking the same since He left. Not even a subtle change. He had even lost his self-love. I can’t love my past self; he realized, but I can love the new Sehun.

Hours later, when he showed up at Baekhyun’s place with parted blonde hair, and a grin so big that made his eyes look like crescent moons, Junmyeon almost had a heart attack.

Even if he tried, Sehun no longer remembers that certain series of numbers that used to be a phone number.

* * *

The problems came back a few months later after. He isn’t talking about how much his mother yelled at him for dying his hair blonde. Or about the two failed exams he had this semester. He is thinking about some other problems he can’t really control. Sehun isn’t even sure if he wants to have any type of control over them, anyway.

He used to understand Jongin just by looking at him. And Sehun swears that his friend hasn’t changed a little bit, so it might be a Sehun only issue. The fact is, that he no longer comprehends what is going on in Jongin’s mind, as simple as that. Suddenly the soft smiling guy is an absolute mystery.

Sehun doesn’t even know how to behave around him anymore. Every time Jongin hugs him he panics, every time he hears a “Hunnie” coming from those pouty pink lips Sehun has a breakdown inside. When Jongin rests his head on Sehun’s shoulder he can’t focus on anything else except Jongin’s soft brown hair and his quiet breathing. If Jongin wants to grab his hand, he can’t find a proper reason to say no, he just complies. Even if the rest of the world gossips around them, Sehun can’t find himself giving a fuck anymore. When Jongin looks back to see Sehun there, hand in hand, Sehun feels right where he should be.

Sehun has been staring at him a lot recently. Looking for the reason for all of this as if it would be plastered all over Jongin’s forehead, only to discover that he wants, more like he needs, to give that temple a kiss. A peck. To gently put his lips over his skin and wait for the other’s reaction. And that Jongin’s skin glows under the Sun so beautifully that would put to shame the sand shimmering in the desert.

Sehun blushes heavily every time he thinks about it.

_What am I saying?_, Sehun asks himself with consternation while he plays another Mario Kart round absentmindedly with Chanyeol over the couch. What am I thinking?

“Sehun” - Chanyeol says.“Are you even playing?”

No, I’m not, he thinks. “Yes.” - he answers with a mocking voice trying not to pay any attention to Jongin entering the living room, trying to sit between him and Chanyeol.

“Move, I want to sit” - he complains with a pout.

“Chanyeol, move your fat ass” - Sehun says.

“Move your fat ass, it occupies more” - Chanyeol replies.

“Whatever.” - Jongin simply sighed, grabbing Sehun by the arm trying not to shake him or the controller. Sitting on Sehun’s spot and placing the blonde over his legs he asked; “Comfy?”- with that playful smile of his.

Sehun dropped the controller, loudly crashing on the floor. Jumping like a rabbit he left the couch, the game and two really confused Jongin and Chanyeol looking at each other. Sehun left to his bedroom, leaning on the closed door, his heartbeat getting faster the more the thought about it.

Used not to feel anything at all, he was now feeling a lot.

“Sehun” - Jongin’s voice talked at the other side of the door.“Are you alright?”

“yES” - he answered in an uneven voice. Super convincent.

“You don’t sound...”

“I’m fine, really” - Sehun managed to steady his voice. “I just… needed a moment.”

“...okay?”- Jongin said, leaving for the living room again.“We’ll be here if you want.”

But Sehun didn’t leave his bedroom that day. Or that night. Too busy trying to understand, to stop his heart from going rampant. Trying to stop himself from leaving his bedroom and run, chasing Jongin to give him that damn kiss in the temple. Or maybe elsewhere.

“What’s with that face? Is our grumpy Sehunnie back?”- Baekhyun playfully asked the next day, over a not so delicious meal in the cafeteria.

“I’m not grumpy” - he answered, grumpily.

“And a whiner” - Baekhyun kept saying.

“I hate you, Byun” - Sehun answered.

Baekhyun chuckled a little. “You love me, and you know it.” - he said singsonging.

Sehun stared at Baekhyun, his mouth open, realizing that, in fact, he does. He does love Byun Baekhyun. “I do” - he answered.

“That’s what I said, don’t be cheesy on public” - Baekhyun laughed.

“No, Baek.” - Sehun put a hand over his chest. “It’s not that I know. I do. I fucking love you.”

Baekhyun choked on his food while swallowing, he had to drink a full glass of water to be able to breathe normally again. “You are feeling?” - he asked, his voice trembling a little.

Sehun nodded. “I am.”

Baekhyun and Sehun laughed like they have gone crazy. Other students around them stopped caring about their own conversations to look at both of them, half laughing, half crying, trying to hug each other across the blue cafeteria table. When Junmyeon arrived with his own food, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know what was going on. But before he could ask, Sehun shouted at him.

“Jun! Help me! I’m feeling!”

“What?” - he asked confused, placing his tray on the table.

“Jun, I love Baekhyun. Jun, I fucking love you.”

Junmyeon would have fallen to the floor if he hadn’t been sat at that very moment.

Of course, Sehun isn’t stupid. Naïve maybe, but not stupid. He knows that the reason he is feeling love again, and the reason he is unable to see love on others anymore is Jongin.

But if he is feeling again thanks to Jongin that means that he is falling for the guy. And a loveless heart can only love his soulmate.

And thinking about the possibility of Jongin being his soulmate scares Sehun intensely.  The simple idea of recognizing it frightens him, makes the world start spinning, his heart stop in place, aching, bleeding love.

A thing he forgot how much it hurt. But he would rather feel the pain of love that not feeling anything at all, way better than the void.

The last time he fell in love he was younger and full of love to give, to share. He was eager to give. The world was pink and revolved around Him in the same way the Solar System spins around the Sun. But now, now is different. And Sehun knows it.  Jongin doesn’t try to be the unmovable center of his life, love is always selfish to some extent, but Jongin is not. Jongin is warm, hearty. With him by his side life has turned that homey and comfortable brown color, familiar and safe, slowly burning his affection like a log on a fireplace.

Sehun’s hands don’t shiver anymore.

“You always do that” - Junmyeon said, leaning on Sehun’s door.

“What are you talking about?” - he said, quickly putting away his phone.

“You have Jongin as your lock screen, and you were looking at him hopelessly.” - he sighed. “I’m your mother I know what I’m talking about.”

Sehun laughed. “I’m that obvious, mom?”

“Mother knows best.” - Junmyeon sat at Sehun’s bed. “When are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know…” - Sehun sighed, sitting beside Junmyeon. “What if he is not ready…”

“He is.” - Junmyeon chuckled. “You two are so whipped that it actually hurts a little to watch.”

Sehun frowned. “That’s a lie.”

“Chanyeol and Baekhyun have a bet” - Junmyeon kept talking. “If you declare yourself first Baekhyun wins, if Jongin does, Chanyeol wins.”

“What’s the prize?” - Sehun asked rising an eyebrow.

“The loser pays dinner for a week” - Junmyeon shrugged.

“I want to tell Jongin… but I don’t want to feed Baekhyun for a week” - Sehun said faking a complaint.

“Jongin won’t do it.” - Junmyeon stated. “He has been feeling the whole time, and it’s probably as clueless as you, you have the high ground.”

Sehun sighed getting up, putting on a jacket. “Where are you going this late?” - Junmyeon asked.

“I’m going to declare myself, of course” - Sehun answered, trying to style his hair over the mirror.

“Like right now?!”

“Does it matter when I do it?. Honestly, when I had the bottomless void inside of my heart, I felt drained, without a single drop of energy the whole time. But now, the pressure I have inside is calling me to take action.”- Sehun said with a big grin. “I have to do it now because If I don’t I’m afraid I’ll step back again.”

Junmyeon dearly smiled looking at Sehun. “I’m so proud of you.”

Sehun left his bedroom, not without telling Junmyeon one last thing. “Thank you, for never give up on me during the last year.”

Junmyeon laughed, touched by Sehun’s words. “Go get him, tiger.”

Sehun didn’t want to run, but his heart commanded his feet to move in his own excited speed. In the blink of an eye he was outside his building, leaving to face his heart last time.

Jongin apartment wasn’t far from his own, Sehun didn’t even know if his flatmate would be there, but he couldn’t care less. The streets were full of students coming back from late classes and others coming out to some party. The usual when you live in a neighborhood full of college students.  Noisy, but the food is cheaper. 

Once he was outside Jongin’s building he sent him a quick text, in a matter of seconds, Jongin answered that he would be down there in a minute. Probably the longest minute Sehun ever had.

His feet couldn’t stop moving, so he found himself aimlessly walking outside Jongin’s entrance hall. Fidgeting with his fingers inside his jacket pockets, he had lost every bit of confidence he had back home talking to Junmyeon.

And when he turned his back to see Jongin, effortlessly handsome on his pajamas, he almost lets a weird shriek come out of his throat.

“Sorry” - the other said with a smile.“I was already on my pajamas, and I didn’t want you to wait…”

“It’s okay, you are perfect” - Sehun said as quickly as the thought crossed his mind. Smooth, he thought. “I mean, no problem at all.”

Jongin tilted his head, approaching Sehun. “Are you okay?”

“Yes” - Sehun stepped back by reflex. He really was panicking.

“Hunnie” - Jongin said with a soft voice.“Are you sure? You seem weird, you want to come upstairs? My flatmate is at work tonight.”

“No” - Sehun simply said, his brain malfunctioning. “I mean, I’m perfectly fine. It’s just that I lost track of what I wanted to say and now I’m nervous, and probably talking way too much.”

Jongin gave him that smile. The smile that made his eyes wrinkle to the point where they almost disappear. That smile that makes Sehun’s new heart scrunch, even if it that’s physically impossible. Sehun couldn’t take it anymore, if he had lost his words, he would have to use actions.

And fulfill a wish he had been hiding for months now.

When Jongin realized that Sehun was kissing him it was too late. The peck was so short that it almost didn’t happen. “What was that?” - Jongin asked, confused.

“A kiss” - Sehun answered a little offended.

“A kiss?” - Jongin huffed. “That was barely a peck, Hunnie.”

“Why are you complaining?”

“I’ve been waiting weeks for you to kiss me and all you give is that. I’m disappointed” - Jongin pouted with a little smile creeping on his face.

Sehun chuckled, embarrassed, but he felt his courage coming back, warming him from head to toes. “Then I’ll have to fix that up.”

“But first say it” - Jongin kept pouting.

“Say what?”

“You’ve been saying ‘I love you’ to everyone since you’ve realized that you can feel again and I’m jealous” - Jongin crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m the only one you don’t love?”

Sehun felt defeated in front of Jongin, how could someone drive him so crazy. “Jongin” - Sehun approached him.“Without you, I wouldn’t even love. You are my soulmate, the love of my life.”

Jongin couldn’t hide the grin on his face. “That was cheesy.”

“But you love it.”

“I do.”

The next time they kissed Jongin had time enough to enjoy it.

* * *

Sehun protection squad

(11.30 PM) **Junmom**: Sehun left to talk to Jongin rn

(11.30 PM)** Junmom**: Baek won

(11.32 PM) **Baekk:** YAS SJAJHSHSHA

(11.32 PM) **Baekk:** TOLD YA

(11.32 PM) **Baekk:** CHANYEOL PREPARE MONEY I’M HAVING CHICKEN THE WHOLE WEEK

(11.32 PM) **Loey:** FUCK

(11.32 PM) **Loey**: JONGIN I TRUSTED U

(11.33 PM) **Baekk**: sorry ur guy was a loser

(11.33 PM) **Loey**: not my fault, but anyway

(11.33 PM) **Loey**: what if

(11.33 PM)** Loey;** instead of buying u chicken the whole week I treat u to a real dinner

(11.34 PM) **Baekk:** ….whatt

(11.34 PM) **Baekk**: that sounds like a date

(11.34 PM) **Loey**: it is if u want...

(11.35 PM) User “**Junmom**” changed the chat name “**Sehun protection squad**” > “**Sehun owes me money**”

(11.35 PM) **Junmom**: about time, u two

(11.35 PM) User “**Baekk**” kicked out user “**Junmom**”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudo and a comment if you liked it!
> 
> Story time: I had this au idea one day when my Spotify dediced to play ABBA's song "Don't go wasting your emotions", and I've been really wanting to write sekai again, and that's how this was born. Amazing, I know hahaha.


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